This is a very serious political blog.
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Thank you for your honesty. Now fuck off and die, you fucked up slag.

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Once again, Ben Linus sums up this day.
People infuriate and puzzle me at the same time. Lord give me strength — and 2 Valiums.

Once again, Ben Linus sums up this day.

People infuriate and puzzle me at the same time. Lord give me strength — and 2 Valiums.

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Not to be that person who picks on teenage celebrities…oh wait, no, that’s exactly the kind of person I am…but a few things about Taylor Swift’s monologue that everyone seems to think is super adorable and spectacular.

I’m just going to state the obvious here: it wasn’t funny. “Why don’t you think it’s funny, Sade?” you may be asking. Well. This is why:

  1. Didn’t Joe Jonas break up with you like a year ago? Yeah. Over a year ago. When has he ever said anything about your, what, 2-week-long relationship? What’s that? Never? Right. Never. And yet in seemingly every single interview you do, he is mentioned. The fact that he broke up with you via text message (an admittedly stupid move) is always brought up. Get the fuck over it. Stop mentioning it! Nobody cares, really. The whole “I’m doing great!” part had me facepalming. SMILETOKEEPFROMCRYINGI’MDOINGGREATJOE
  2. I think I counted 3 separate references to the Kanye West incident. 3! Are you kidding? One is to be expected. But 3? Less is more.Ugh. I suppose it’s not all her fault, GET IT TOGETHER WRITERS. Christ. 
  3. There is no third point. Except that maybe Taylor Swift has made a career out of being a victim (of text message break-ups and stage bombing). Most people only know her name because of Kanye (have you sent that thank you note yet, Taylor?) and Joe Jonas. That’s it. Oh, also, Saturday Night Live sucks balls. That’s right. You can’t buy maturity like this.
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Guess I’ll just sit here and wait for people to realize that putting ridiculous restrictions on abortions and making them less accessible isn’t going to decrease the number of abortions, just the number of safe abortions.
Women don’t have abortions for the fun of it. It’s traumatic and life changing. No one’s like, “Oh well fuck condoms! I’ll just have an abortion in a couple weeks! Stick it in!” Ugh. I thought America was moving forward on the subject.
Fuck, you guys.

Guess I’ll just sit here and wait for people to realize that putting ridiculous restrictions on abortions and making them less accessible isn’t going to decrease the number of abortions, just the number of safe abortions.

Women don’t have abortions for the fun of it. It’s traumatic and life changing. No one’s like, “Oh well fuck condoms! I’ll just have an abortion in a couple weeks! Stick it in!” Ugh. I thought America was moving forward on the subject.

Fuck, you guys.

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Just checking in to tell you guys how Ray-Bans scored this boy a date with me tomorrow. I’m trying really hard not to sound like I’m in 8th grade and Todd Heany just asked me to the winter dance. But anyway, remember how I ~JOKINGLY~ mentioned going rock climbing the other day and hoping for some babes? (Total gag, that one, definitely not serious…ha…you guys know that, right? I mean you didn’t think I was serious, right? Because I totally wasn’t. No…not at all…) A guy who works at the indoor rock climbing gym I went to wears the same prescription wayfarers as I do (also who my friend scoped out and made an audible “UNFFFFF” noise about) and came up to me and started a conversation by saying “Hey, great glasses.” and here’s where I illustrate how super awkward I am:
Me: Oh ha, thanks yeah, they give me a headache sometimes but I like how they look. They used to be sunglasses.
Him: Yeah they’re awesome *takes off his* I think mine are a little bigger though, they’re the Wayfarer-2’s.
Me: Oh.
Him: You have Wayfarer-1’s, then?
Me: Oh! Oh my god! You have the same glasses as I do!
Him: …yeah. Yep, that’s…that’s why I said it.
Me: Right. Sorry. No of course. Hey we have the same glasses that’s cool! I like your style, clearly you have excellent taste.
So anyway, he apparently was not completely weirded out by my inherent social awkwardness and I’m going to see some local band I’ve never heard of before (kids these days, I can’t keep up) with him. Three cheers for hot boys with thick framed glasses?

Just checking in to tell you guys how Ray-Bans scored this boy a date with me tomorrow. I’m trying really hard not to sound like I’m in 8th grade and Todd Heany just asked me to the winter dance. But anyway, remember how I ~JOKINGLY~ mentioned going rock climbing the other day and hoping for some babes? (Total gag, that one, definitely not serious…ha…you guys know that, right? I mean you didn’t think I was serious, right? Because I totally wasn’t. No…not at all…) A guy who works at the indoor rock climbing gym I went to wears the same prescription wayfarers as I do (also who my friend scoped out and made an audible “UNFFFFF” noise about) and came up to me and started a conversation by saying “Hey, great glasses.” and here’s where I illustrate how super awkward I am:

Me: Oh ha, thanks yeah, they give me a headache sometimes but I like how they look. They used to be sunglasses.

Him: Yeah they’re awesome *takes off his* I think mine are a little bigger though, they’re the Wayfarer-2’s.

Me: Oh.

Him: You have Wayfarer-1’s, then?

Me: Oh! Oh my god! You have the same glasses as I do!

Him: …yeah. Yep, that’s…that’s why I said it.

Me: Right. Sorry. No of course. Hey we have the same glasses that’s cool! I like your style, clearly you have excellent taste.

So anyway, he apparently was not completely weirded out by my inherent social awkwardness and I’m going to see some local band I’ve never heard of before (kids these days, I can’t keep up) with him. Three cheers for hot boys with thick framed glasses?

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Religion is far more of a choice than homosexuality. And the protections that we have for religion — we protect religion. And talk about a lifestyle choice — that is absolutely a choice… It’s a travesty that people have forced someone who is gay to have to make their case that they deserve the same basic rights as someone else…
Jon Stewart
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New favourite spend-an-hour-going-through-its-archives Tumblr: My Parents Were Awesome

Ahhh so cute!

New favourite spend-an-hour-going-through-its-archives Tumblr: My Parents Were Awesome

Ahhh so cute!

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I've had oatmeal for breakfast every morning for the past 2 weeks.

LOOKIN’ GOOD FEELIN’ GOOD

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kapi:

I will slap your face so super hard!

I slap you! I slap you! I slap slap slap you! Slappin you silly ‘cause you disrespected me!

kapi:

I will slap your face so super hard!

I slap you! I slap you! I slap slap slap you! Slappin you silly ‘cause you disrespected me!

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How many of you would be down for a Holiday/Christmas card exchange?

I did it last year, but if I know ahead of time if it’ll be worth it or not, that would help.

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I fucking hate you so hard, Urban Outfitters.
Ugh. Why do you have to ruin everything with your faux-nostalgic-distressed-too-thin bullshit? Cunts.

I fucking hate you so hard, Urban Outfitters.

Ugh. Why do you have to ruin everything with your faux-nostalgic-distressed-too-thin bullshit? Cunts.

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jollilama:

Geologists confirm that a 35-mile-long rift that opened in Ethiopia in 2005— it ripped apart more than 20 feet in just days — is likely the start of a new ocean.
The team from U Rochester has been trying to figure out if plates separate little-by-little over the long haul by a series of smaller earthquakes, or if it’s possible for oceanic plates to suddenly break apart along an entire length all at once.
Since deep-sea research has obvious difficulties, this above-sea-level rift has allowed them to solve part of this mystery. Their research appears to confirm that every tectonic plate, with edges hundreds of miles in length, has the potential to instantly tear themselves apart over a few days.
(Here’s the article)

Sade Crossan, died 2012. Beloved daughter, sister, fuck buddy. Is survived by NOBODY BECAUSE THE WORLD IS ENDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING

jollilama:

Geologists confirm that a 35-mile-long rift that opened in Ethiopia in 2005— it ripped apart more than 20 feet in just days — is likely the start of a new ocean.

The team from U Rochester has been trying to figure out if plates separate little-by-little over the long haul by a series of smaller earthquakes, or if it’s possible for oceanic plates to suddenly break apart along an entire length all at once.

Since deep-sea research has obvious difficulties, this above-sea-level rift has allowed them to solve part of this mystery. Their research appears to confirm that every tectonic plate, with edges hundreds of miles in length, has the potential to instantly tear themselves apart over a few days.

(Here’s the article)

Sade Crossan, died 2012. Beloved daughter, sister, fuck buddy. Is survived by NOBODY BECAUSE THE WORLD IS ENDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING

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Pet peeve #9502

When people describe inanimate objects as “fun”.

NO. STOP.

Those shoes aren’t “fun”, my purple scarf isn’t “fun”, that colour of nail polish isn’t “fun”. Sit the fuck down.

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  • So my boss, Megan, just got a Twitter account.
  • Her: I only have 4 followers. How many do normal people have? How many do you have?
  • Me: I don't know, around 300-ish.
  • Her: Whoa!!
  • Co-worker: Don't get too excited, Megan, 270 of them are porno-bots.
  • Me: Goddammit you ruin everything.
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I made myself a sandwich today, you guys!

 ~*~so exciting~*~

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